Unbreakable Chains
by Redpanda14
Summary: Watching the people you care about slip away is one of the hardest things in the world. And even harder when there's nothing you can do to stop it. Alternate Universe. McShep, whump. Don't like, don't read.
1. New Allies, Old Enemies

**A/N: **_Okay, if you didn't read the description this story contains McShep elements. (In otherwords, JohnxRodney pairing of the sorts) So if you do not like that sort of thing, please feel free to turn away now, as flames will be ignored. On a happier note, thank you to the most amazing Beta ever,Ashvarden! Without you this story would be terrible. This story is also an Alternate Universe, so before you start reading there are probably a few things you should know. 1) The Atlantis team never met Niam. 2) Oberoth was never killed when the Asurans took over Atlantis. 3) They failed to destory the Replicator homeworld during season four. Trust me, it may sound like nothing, but it helps to know those things if you don't pick it up along the way._

_This is my second McShep attempt, the other story is already finished in writing, but my other Beta ribbon_purple has been busy and is still going over it. So I wrote this to pass the time, which this is also complete. And should be regulary updated. If not bug me, nag me, harass me until I do. Enjoy, and if you think I'm doing a good job, please take the time to review. Thanks._

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Little light was able to shine through the thick foliage of the treetops, leaving the forest below in a murky damp darkness. Sunlight that was able to find its way through the dense greenery illuminated the layers upon layers of grey rotting leaves that saturated the forest floor.

All sense of time had been lost long ago, along with all sense of direction, which wasn't very crash hot to start with. Sheppard had to argue with himself about whether or not they should head back to the Stargate, but how far back it was, he had no idea.

The rustling of the leaves was the only sound that filled the air, the cool breeze flowing freely over the ground, lifting the once alive greenery away into the darkness beyond.

Sheppard watched McKay as he wandered forward, mumbling under his breath and looking over at the energy readings he was receiving on another one of his do-hickeys that Sheppard could never understand. The last time he tried to grasp the complexity of the device he ended up getting a massive headache, so he did his best to avoid the technical side of things and leave that to the "science god" as McKay puts it.

Behind him, Ronon and Teyla strode at a reasonable pace, laughing at each other's jokes. For the last few off world missions, Sheppard had begun to notice the change in their attitudes towards each other.

Though, lately there were other things on Sheppard's mind that he'd begun noticing more than he probably should.

For the past week, McKay had slowly become his every waking thought, from the moment he woke up in the early hours of the morning to the late hours of night before he went to sleep. At first he tried to push it aside in the hoped that it would pass, but it was slowly dawning on him that perhaps he had feelings for his best friend since he'd arrived at Atlantis.

Many, many times he'd caught himself staring at Rodney, daydreaming, thinking about what it would like to brush his hands through his hair and press their lips together. Unfortunately, on multiple occasions, Rodney had caught Sheppard's eyes upon him, though he never mentioned anything about it.

A twig snapped under Sheppard's weight as he stepped on the small piece of wood, the echoing crack causing McKay to twist frantically, startled, as if expecting to be fired at with arrows.

Doing his best to hold back the grin that had begun to widen on his face, Sheppard continued walking, patting Rodney on the shoulder as he passed. "Scared much?" Nope, he couldn't hold it back any longer and started laughing.

"I was _not_ scared, thank you very much." He glanced over to Ronon and Teyla, who had caught up. "I was simply testing my reflexes."

Yep. He was scared.

"If you say so," John mused to himself before leaning back against one of the trees and yawning.

"John, I don't believe that there's anything on this planet that could possibly be any use for us. Wouldn't it be best to go back while it's still light?" Teyla looked back in the direction they'd come from. She was right, so far there'd be no evidence to suggest that there was anything useful here.

"Yeah." Sighing, he pushed himself back into an upright position. "I'm calling this one off, let's go home."

Home, even saying it felt natural these days. He was used to it by now; many people from the Atlantis expedition called it home. After all these years, how could anyone go back to a normal life? Especially after seeing all the wonderful things the universe had brought to him? Aside from the Wraith, the Replicators, the Genii... okay, maybe it wasn't so great in some aspects. But it was home nevertheless. The thought of having to go back to Earth and live the same old life was something he would never be able to do, not after Atlantis came into his life.

Rodney shook his head at the order to go back to Atlantis. "Not if you want the ZPM readings that I'm picking up."

Now that was worth sticking around for. "You never said anything about a ZPM earlier, you've been holding out on us Rodney."

"Ha ha. Well, it wouldn't be hard to from you," Rodney snapped back, showing his resentment towards John without hesitation.

Teyla stepped between the two of them. "Do you have any idea how far away we are from it?"

Rodney gave John a smug look. "Of course I do, it's about eight hundred meters that way."

Rolling his eyes, John gestured for Rodney to lead the way. There was no use fighting with him, he'd never win anyhow, especially when in concerned him and possibly finding a new ZPM.

The wind had begun to pick up now, the breeze's cool touch almost refreshing against his face as he continued to follow Rodney between the obstacle course of vines, dead tree branches, rocks, stumps...

"I found something," Rodney interrupted John's thoughts. "It should be somewhere about here..."

Looking around, they all saw nothing. The area was small, but one of the wider open spaces they'd come across since arriving through the Stargate.

Unfortunately, travelling in the Puddle Jumper had been out of the question, because of the thick treetops that circled high above them. It would be impossible to get through them without severely damaging it, but it sure as hell would have made it a lot quicker in searching the planet.

"I don't see anything," Ronon grumbled.

Teyla nodded her head. "I have to agree, I don't see any sign that a ZPM might be around, Rodney."

Rodney continued to fiddle with his device while Sheppard scouted the outer perimeter of the area.

At least here there was plenty of sunshine; one large beam was shining through the foliage spreading out over the entire area. There were plenty of plants though, that was for sure. The botanists would have a field day here when they told them about it back at Atlantis, almost every inch of this place was covered in some form of plant. At least there weren't any crystals this time; thank _god_ there weren't any crystals this time.

Rustling from somewhere in the darkness beyond the trees got John's attention quickly. Signalling the others to hide, John positioned himself behind one of the trees, gun at the ready next to Rodney who was scrambling to get his gun ready.

Rodney opened his mouth to speak, but John quickly placed his hand over it to shut him up.

Seconds later, the figure of a man walked straight past them. To their surprise, he stopped and greeted them.

"Welcome, we've been expecting you."

Lowering his gun, John examined the stranger. He was wearing a bright white shirt and pants. Both were spotlessly clean. There wasn't a single speck of dirt on them.

"You... have?" John managed to force out of his mouth.

"Indeed. We've been waiting for you ever since the great circle activated a while ago. We were beginning to worry you might have gotten lost." The stranger didn't seem to notice Teyla and Ronon, he seemed more attentive to him and Rodney, taking occasional glances at their weapons.

"I'm sorry." Teyla seemed hesitant to say anything. "You say "we've been waiting for you" yet I don't see anyone else around."

"I've forgotten my manners. Let me begin again. Hi, my name's Val. My people, the Myrans, our world was attacked by the Wraith. Only a few of us managed to escape, we set up a colony here where we've been safe ever since. Follow me and I'll lead you to our village."

Val walked away into the darkness, not turning back, giving them enough time to decide whether or not they should follow.

"They may have something worth trading, he appeared to be from a very advanced culture._"_ Teyla was already bought on them following.

"You can't know that," Rodney whispered harshly.

"I say we follow." Ronon didn't seem to be phased either way.

"Three against one Rodney, but if you feel as if you can't handle coming with us, you can stay here. Alone. In the dark." The bait was now dangling tentatively on the hook, waiting for Rodney to bite, and just as John had expected, he did.

"Fine," was all Rodney said as he secluded himself into silence.

Not wasting any time, the four ran to catch up to Val. No one noticed the figures in the shadows watching them as they left, and certainly no one heard them as they began to follow.

*

For a few minutes John kept a close eye on Val. He wasn't a very talkative person; John knew that much to say the least.

The forest slowly began to widen up; the distance between the trees got further apart the longer they walked. Ahead, a large horizon of light shed through the trees in a painful glare. It was ages since they'd been out in the bright sunlight. John had only just gotten used to the idea of seeing in the dark.

The opening was massive; for a good solid mile a grassy plain spread out right until it met the edges of the forest on the other side, the grass swaying in the wind hypnotically. In the middle stood a small collection of wooden lodges.

Val directed them towards a stone well that sat peacefully in the middle of the village. Just by looking at it you could tell it'd obviously had been there for a long time. Moss ran along and through the cracks all the way up to the very top.

The Myran colony that Val had mentioned was almost nothing more than a sheer tent. Okay, maybe there were a few small wooden lodges but they'd expected something a little more extravagant.

"Welcome to our Village." Val paused before continuing. "Please wait here while I tell the elders of your arrival."

Leaving them to wait by the well, Val diverted himself into one of the lodges, probably to go get the elders.

John glanced down into the well, struggling to see the bottom. Picking up a stone from beside the well, he dropped it down. He waited for a splash. Five seconds later, the surface of the murky water below rippled as the stone was swallowed up by the well.

Behind him he could hear Rodney starting to grunt. "So much for your _'advanced' _civilisation." He even added the quotations with his fingers.

John watched as Teyla rolled her eyes. "What's that term you use on Earth, John? Never judge a book by its cover?"

He nodded slowly, not sure where she was going with any of this.

"Rodney, just to let you know, not all people in Pegasus wish others to see how advanced they really are." Taking a long, deep breath, she looked away.

The lodge door swung open, revealing three people wearing identical clothes to Val, the same old boring white shirt and pants.

One of the older elders stepped forward and stretched out his hand towards Sheppard. "Welcome. I hope Val didn't frighten you, but we were beginning to worry. My name's Niam, and this is Neridah." He gestured to the woman on his left, her blonde hair blowing into her face. "And Tirral." She stood on his right, her seaweed green eyes standing out more than any other feature on her body.

John grabbed Niam's outstretched hand and shook it firmly. At first it was warm, but it felt cold and dead in his grasp the longer he held it, as if all the life had been sucked out of it.

Removing his hand, Sheppard looked back at the village around him. "Nice place you have here."

Tirral spoke up from her silence. "If you can call it nice. Our previous planet was destroyed by the Wraith. The culling took almost half of my people, it was a great loss for all of us."

"My entire planet was destroyed by the Wraith as well." Sheppard watched Ronon pause as if he was remembering the events that happened on Sateda.

"Please, come inside. It's a lot warmer than it is out here." Val directed them away from the well and into the lodge that the elders had walked out of moments earlier.

Rodney was being awfully quiet, especially seeing that he had a rather annoying habit of never shutting up. Once they'd entered the lodge, John watched as the glowing heat from the fire brought colour to Rodney's beautiful face again.

_Beautiful face_? Rodney wasn't _that_ attractive... was he?

"_Okay, you really need to stop thinking about Rodney right now__,__ John,"_ he lectured to himself. "_Just think of anything but him. Atlantis, Ferris wheels, Puddle Jumpers, math, Rodney... damn!"_

It was a lost cause.

Snapping himself out of thinking about Rodney as best as he could, he diverted his attention to the current matter.

"Please, sit." Tirral pointed to the brown couches that lay around the fireplace.

John sat down on the couch that was closest and sank into it, almost having a heart attack when Rodney sat directly beside him, pushing his body up against his to allow Teyla to sit down also.

Maybe not so much a heart attack, but a lot of blood was going straight down to somewhere where it shouldn't have. And to make things worse, his face began to go red when Rodney's hand accidentally brushed up his leg, almost touching his crotch.

"Sorry, there's not much room," he apologised quickly.

Ronon leaned against the back of the couch, while the elders and Val sat on the longer couch opposite them.

"So, Ronon, Teyla, Rodney, John, what brings you to this planet?" Niam placed his hands on top of each other, staring directly at them.

"We're in search of allies in the fight against the Wraith, as well as any technology that could help us," Teyla said, moving uncomfortably, which caused Rodney to push up even closer to John.

"Sorry, but I don't know what we could trade you. We don't have much in the ways of weapons," Val replied.

"What about a ZPM?" Rodney blurted out.

Val and the elders exchanged confused glances. "Can you please explain what that is?"

Rodney shuffled forward a bit, giving John a bit more breathing room. "It's an energy source used by the Ancients."

"Oh!" Niam remarked. "You mean our energy crystal. Yes, we have one, but we have no use for it. Why?"

"I knew it! I knew there had to be one around here somewhere!" Rodney jumped up excitedly, only to receive multiple raised eyebrows from everyone. "What I mean is, we've been searching for ages for one to power up our city, as ours is nearly depleted and it can only be replaced by another. And seeing that you're not using it, would it be possible that we could somehow trade for it?"

John watched Rodney's fingers cross behind his back.

"What would you give in return?" Tirral clasped her fingers together in an interlocking motion.

"We have medicine, weapons you could use to protect yourself," Teyla answered.

Each of the elders and Val silently whispered to each other. A few minutes later, they came to their conclusion.

"You offer is acceptable," Niam agreed.

Something wasn't right; this was starting to get a little too weird for his liking.

Then something occurred to him. "Excuse me... not meaning to sound rude, but earlier when you greeted us you said our names. Funny thing is, I don't remember telling you them."

All at once, Niam and the other elders laughed. "Really? I thought you did. Maybe Val mentioned your names when he came to get us?"

John watched Niam give Val a serious glance. "Of course I did."

"No, you didn't," Rodney butted in. "We never had time to tell you our names either."

He was right. Sheppard lurched up from his seat. Raising his P-90, he directed it at the elders. "Who are you?" he demanded forcefully.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ronon raise his gun also, followed by Teyla and Rodney.

He felt confused when the elders laughed again. Obviously, they didn't realise the seriousness of the situation. If it came to it, he _would_ shoot and ask questions later.

Neridah got up from her seat and took a step forward, towards John. "Not much of a trade negotiation when you have weapons pointed directly at you, is it? Put them down before you do yourself more harm than it's worth."

Niam and Tirral were also standing up with dark expressions stamped on their faces. Val was still sitting on the couch, just watching the events unfold in front of him.

"Answer the question," Ronon grunted as his flicked his weapon to stun.

The lodge door behind them flung open as five more people entered the room, blocking off any means of escape.

Niam took another step forward, but not before John fired a bullet into his shoulder. It didn't bleed, though. "Now, now. That wasn't very nice, was it?" Niam mocked.

John fired at his leg this time. Not even a drop of blood, but he could clearly see the hole where the bullet had gone through.

"Your weapons are useless; you might as well give up." Val stretched back on the couch.

"That's it, fire!" John commanded. In seconds, the entire room was filled with the sounds of bullets whizzing through the air at high velocity. Each one hit one of the elders, but they persisted in standing. They didn't even flinch when the bullets hit them. Firing a bullet into Niam's head, John watched in horror as the wound closed over like it was never there.

"You-you're Replicators," Rodney stammered, lowering his gun.

"So it would seem. Grab them." The Replicators guarding the door stormed forward without saying a word and grabbed each of them by the shoulders. It didn't matter how much they struggled; the grips were locked.

The sheer power of their hold was painful; John's shoulders felt like someone had impaled them with a hot iron rod as their fingers dug deep into the skin.

"As I said before, John Sheppard, we've been waiting for you for long time." A large, shadowy grin spread over his face as Val stood directly over John. "Now, let's get to it, shall we?"

The last thing he remembered was seeing the fear on Rodney's face as the Replicators plunged their hands into their heads.

_To be continued.._


	2. Captured

**A/N: **_Happy Halloween people! Well, it is for anyone that lives in Australia. Moving on... As a treat I give you the next chapter, or maybe it's a trick? I guess you'll have to read to find out. Thank you to my amazing Beta' Ashvarden for her wonderful work on my story. Thank you to everyone who has been following. Enjoy._

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Stale air threatened to choke him as John slowly came back to consciousness. His eyelids were sliding shut again, forcing him to succumb to the darkness peacefully. John fought the sleepiness that was trying to overwhelm him, trying not to give in to it.

Scanning the area, he couldn't see a thing. Maybe he never opened his eyes? Blinking, he came to the conclusion that it was either very dark, or he was dead. Pinching his arm, John gave a yelp of pain. Yep, he was alive.

John tried to move, but his legs refused to comply. Instead, they filled with a scorching pain that slowly crept up his body. He stopped moving and the pain slowly faded away, allowing the normal feeling in his body to return.

The solid ground beneath him was rough like sandpaper against the back of his head, the rough surface scraping it when he moved.

A drop of liquid ran down his face. He couldn't tell if it was sweat or blood. The room was almost impossible to see in. Only a faint strip of light ran across from around the corner through what appeared to be metal bars.

The light suddenly lengthened. Inside of it, a shadowy figure stepped forward.

"I'm so glad that you two have made yourself comfortable." Niam's eyes flickered to the other side of the room, where Rodney was lying, still unconscious.

"Let us go." His voice was raspy and dry, making it hurt to speak, but at the moment he didn't care.

"Oh, I don't think so." Niam pressed his face right up against the metal bars, looking down upon John.

"Why not?" was all he managed to get out before he began to cough violently.

John watched in horror and fascination as Niam walked straight through the bars, as if his body was made out of water and solidified again after he passed through.

Niam bared his teeth directly in John's face, curving his lips up into a smile. "Let's just say we've got some things planned for you while you stay."

Just the look in his eyes made John not want to know. "Like..."

"Information. That's all we want, to put it bluntly." Niam removed his face from his proximity and sat down on an old bed on the other side of the room, stepping over Rodney on the way.

"You've already got all the information you want, you've already probed our minds." Saliva was beginning to lubricate his throat, making it easier to talk.

"On the contrary, we didn't touch your minds. We simply knocked you out and brought you to this underground facility. And don't worry about your people trying to contact you, we're on a different planet so they won't be coming for quite some time, I'd imagine."

Impossible, they couldn't be on another planet. He couldn't possibly have been knocked out long enough to be carried back to the Stargate, then to the underground of another planet.

Rodney began to stir quietly on the other side of the room, his groans quite distinct even though John could only see the back of his head.

"Then why are we here!?" The only thing preventing him from punching Niam in the face was the fact that his legs hurt like hell.

Exhaling a sigh, Niam stroked his chin attentively as if trying to choose his words carefully. "As you're probably well aware, Replicators achieve information most effectively by mind probing. However, some of us prefer... other methods that have proved to be far more satisfying. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it."

"You mean torture." Even the word scared the hell out of him. He'd seen enough bloodshed and pain in his life and he didn't need to go through that again. Not ever. [

"If that's what you wish to call it, then yes." Niam picked himself up off the bed. The springs underneath creaked painfully to the ear. "But no matter how you put it," he whispered in John's ear as he bent down to the ground, "you'll never make it out of here alive."

John spat in Niam's face. "Go to hell."

He wiped the spit from his face and just smiled, as if he didn't even care, and spoke calmly. "I'm afraid that is quite impossible for me."

Niam's hand sprung out before John had time to react, and he received a blow to the jaw. His head rolled back to its original position on the floor dazed. "What do you want?"

"The new location of Atlantis would be a great place to start, don't you think?"

John winced in pain that exploded through his jaw as Niam threw another punch, the taste of blood lingering in his mouth.

"I would rather die than tell you."

Niam's face lightened up with a grin. "I'm afraid that's just not an option. It would be so much easier for you to comply."

There was a long moment of silence before John said anything. It wasn't going to matter if he told them or not. By now, they could have extracted the information from his mind at any given moment, so why were they holding back and resorting to torture? It didn't make any sense.

"Whe-where am I?" Rodney sat up, looking around the room.

John watched as Niam glanced at the figure of Rodney, and then back towards John with a crude grin. "Don't you fucking touch him," he forced out through clenched teeth.

It was no use; Niam got up from beside John and slowly made his way over to Rodney, who backed away against the hard stone wall of the cell.

"I said stay away from him!" John yelled.

Rodney's back was against the wall when Niam kicked him in the gut. He did it over and over again, occasionally grabbing Rodney's face and whispering in his ear. John was helpless, unable to do anything about

"Stop it! You're hurting him!" Tears of pain began to flow from his eyes as he unwillingly watched Rodney shake and moan in pain.

Niam stopped hitting Rodney and turned around to John. "I think that's enough for today. I'll give you two some time to think things over. Plus, I have your friends to interrogate now, and that will truly be an interesting experience."

"I'll get you, just you wait." He meant it, too; it was a promise, not just a threat. "And so help _you_ god, when I do you will wish you'd never been created."

Willing himself to move, he managed to use his arms to pull himself backwards towards Rodney as Niam walked through the solid bars.

He looked over his right shoulder directly at John and just smiled. "We'll get to that when it comes to it, won't we?" And with that, he walked out of sight. The sound of a door closing could be heard, and the light became dimmer in an instant. Before long the room he had first woken up in had returned.

At least the darkness felt safe as the coldness swept over him, filling every gap in his body. It was almost suffocating, but it felt good. It meant he was alive.

Pulling himself closer to the wall, he finally reached Rodney, who was shaking in the corner, refusing to say a word. John tried to find something to say to comfort him, but what was there to say? Nothing he would possibly be able to come up with would do any good. At any moment, Niam could come back in and hurt them even worse. That was only a taster course; the Replicators were capable of so much more.

Instead, John placed his arm around Rodney's back and let him lay his head on his shoulder. John rested his own head against Rodney's and whispered softly, "I'll get us out of here."

"I know you will..." Rodney replied weakly.

Moving one hand slowly, John pushed Rodney aside. Removing the other hand from behind him, he slowly lifted up Rodney's shirt to see the damage Niam had done.

Rodney didn't object to his shirt being removed, lifting up his arms slowly. John pulled the last of the shirt over his head and placed it on the ground next to him.

John trailed his fingers lightly over Rodney's stomach. Rodney flinched when they accidentally brushed over his floating ribs. A large, abnormal bump was raised over the skin. "Does it hurt?"

"Of course not," he lied, even as he flinched in pain when John brushed his fingers over it again.

"Sure."

The light may have been poor, but it didn't stop John's eyes from wandering over the smooth curves of Rodney's waist.

'_Woooh! Snap out of it__, John,' _he thought dazedly. The lack of light was making him tired.

"John..." Rodney started to say, his eyes looking into his for a second, but then he glanced away. "Don't worry about it."

"No, what?" John gave back Rodney's shirt and let him put it back on.

Rodney's head turned to the wall facing away from John. "I'm scared..." His voice was quiet, and full of fear.

"I am too," he admitted, managing to get to his feet; the pain wasn't even noticeable now.

Rodney got to his feet, trying not to move too much. It hurt John to see him like this. After all these years of fighting the Wraith and Replicators, he had managed to teach Rodney how to defend himself, to fight back. But what good had it done them? They were trapped, the cell door was deadlocked and sealed, and who knows how far underground they were.

Just a small sink in the top left hand corner in front of the bars, next to it stood with what probably used to be a ceramic white toilet standing next to it. The bottom half of it seemed to be smeared with a bright yellow fungus.

On his right stood a one-person bed. There wasn't even a pillow, just a thin sheet of material which was probably a blanket.

Wait... one bed?

"I'll sleep on the floor," John said immediately. He walked over to just below the bed and laid down on the concrete floor. The rough surface scratched like hell.

Rodney shook his head in disagreement. "Don't go out of the way just for me."

"McKay, just take the damn bed." His voice was a little bit louder than he would have liked.

"Fine, but don't expect me to get any sleep," he muttered, sounding rather pissed off.

John watched as Rodney stepped over him and lowered himself onto the bed, the rusty springs settling down once his entire body was lying flat on the mattress.

It was getting easier to see now; his eyesight had begun to adjust to the dark surroundings. Staring up at the ceiling, he began to dread what was to come, and also wondered how Teyla and Ronon were holding up. They were around here, probably in a cell right now being interrogated about god knows what, and all he could do was lie here on the floor praying for everything to be alright. [

John listened to the sound of Rodney's breathing. It had slowed down to a steady pace, the rhythmic pattern soothing his thoughts as he drowned in it.

"Rodney?"

"Mmm?" He sounded half asleep.

"I know I've never said this to you, and this probably isn't the best of time to tell you... but I just wanted to say that these past years, I'm glad I met you." A smile washed over his face. Rodney meant so much to him, and he wanted so badly to tell him, but he could never admit to himself the fact he had feelings for his best friend. It was stupid, and not the time to think about it.

"You too, Sheppard..." Rodney was either not listening or didn't care because he began snoring straight afterwards. So much for not sleeping.

John lost track how long he'd been awake; the water dripping from the tap echoed throughout the cell, keeping his eyes wide open.

_To be continued..._


	3. Slipping Away

**A/N: **_An update, hooray! Thank you to all the people who've taken time to review let alone read this story. I hope it's not as bad as it seems... Thank you to my amazing Beta' Ashvarden, who I wouldn't have published this story without. A sidenote, this chapter is split up into different times. Each section is marked on how long time has past, so I hope it's not too confusing. Enjoy! Reviews are loved.__

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_

_Day Two_

The Afghanistan desert surrounded him for miles, the blazing hot sun beating down on him from the sky above. The sand beneath him was so hot that it was burning straight through his boots, causing him to keep moving his feet up and down off the ground to prevent them from getting too hot.

Hundreds of questions raced through John's mind and left it just as fast. How did he get back on Earth? Where was Rodney? Even better, what the hell was going on?

John began walking slowly through the sand, deciding to climb over the sand dune ahead to get his bearings.

The climb was steep, causing him to slip down twice and tumble backwards all the way to the bottom. Each time, he had to climb all the way back up. Eventually, though, he managed to reach the top.

In every direction, all the way to the horizon, was vast desert that seemed to go on and on. There wasn't even a sheltered area, let alone a tree to sit under.

Sand exploded in the air no less than ten meters in front of him, and now men were running up the sand dune towards him. _His_men. Men that died years ago and it was his fault that it'd happened. This had to be a dream.

"Move, sir!" Captain Holland yelled as he helped another one of his men up the dune.f

John turned around and felt his stomach drop when he saw the helicopter that he crashed over ten years ago, the US Air Force design identical. It was definitely not there before. Okay, it was official-- the heat was driving him insane. Was it possible that he'd dreamt up Atlantis? No, that wasn't even plausible for an answer. Atlantis was real, but this... this felt real, too. How could he tell the difference?

Gunfire filled the air around them. John instinctively dropped on his stomach and felt around for his gun. He didn't have one on him. Great, that was just perfect.

The man Captain Holland was carrying up the dune froze and fell backwards, clutching his chest where his shirt had begun to soak up blood from a bullet wound that had gone straight through.

"We can't save him, sir. Keep moving!" Captain Holland grabbed John by the arm. Before he knew it, he was running after him down the dune back towards the crashed helicopter.

As they reached the helicopter the gunfire ceased. John quickly took shelter behind it, blocking any direct fire if they were shot at again.

Holland sat beside him, rasping as he grabbed a flask of water from his pocket and began to quench his thirst.

He passed the half drunk flask to John. "Drink, you look like you need it."

Nodding, he removed the flask from Holland's hand and let the cool water refresh his dry mouth.

"What's going on?" He put the empty container down on the sand and looked at Captain Holland, whose head was leaning against the back of the chopper.

He gave John a strange look and then furrowed his eyes at him. "You should know, _sir_."

"I must have missed the memo, because if I remember rightly, you died. I watched you die, for crying out loud! You stepped on a landmine."

Holland cocked an eyebrow. "Are you okay, sir? You don't look so well. Are you sure you didn't hit your head when you crashed?"

"I did _not_ hit my head. I'm perfectly fine, it's you who isn't." John stood up and took a step away from Captain Holland.

"Sir, you've obviously got a concussion and are hallucinating. We need to radio for back up and get out of here as soon as possible." Holland got to his feet and reached through the window of the chopper in an attempt to grab the radio. Sheppard pulled his hand back violently.

"Fine, then answer me this. What was our mission objective?"

Holland rolled his eyes. "Our mission was a search and rescue attempt to save the lives of several U.S. servicemen. But no, you had to go gallivanting about, disobeying direct orders and flying towards where they were keeping them by yourself in some sort of hero act. Because of you, they're all dead, and so are the rest of your men."

John loosened his grip on Holland's wrist. "I didn't have a choice."

"There's always a choice. You just chose to ignore it and do your own thing, didn't you?" Holland smiled and backed away after Sheppard fully released his wrist.

This felt too familiar. This was almost exactly what happened last time... if there was a last time. It was either that or he was suffering from a severe case of déjà vu. Gunfire shot through the air once more, this time even closer, almost hitting him as the bullet dented the chopper.

"Get down!" he ordered, but Holland failed to comply.

"No."

"What do you mean, 'No'? I'm in charge and you will do as I say." Another hail of bullets hit the sand in front of him, even closer this time.

"I can't, sir, not until you tell him the location of Atlantis."

"You can't know about Atlantis, unless..." The realization struck Sheppard. "Niam," he stated angrily. The bastard was in his head, forcing him to give the information. Why didn't he just take it?

"My name's Holland, not Niam, sir. The location of Atlantis, please," he said, taking another step backwards.

"I'm not going to tell you, no matter how much you mess with my mind," John said, but then remembered why this situation seemed so familiar.

Right behind where Holland was standing now, was exactly the spot where the landmine had gone off and killed the real Holland.

"Stop right there." John put his hand out to step forward, but was kept back by more bullets hitting the sand wherever he went to step.

Holland just looked at Sheppard darkly. "Don't you understand? You can save me, you can change history, anything you want, and all you have to do is give me the location of Atlantis."

"Like you said, there's always a choice, so excuse me if I don't feel like betraying my friends today. Maybe if you got back to me in a few days I might be more obliging."

Holland nodded slowly. "If that is what you wish, then fine."

Taking one last step back, the memory of seeing his fellow officer being blown up in his head became real. The heat radiating from the blast hit John hard, knocking him backwards into the chopper, sand flying in all directions as it slowly settled to the ground. Landing beside him was all that remained of Captain Holland, the bone still protruding from where his elbow should be.

His chest suddenly felt tight. John put his hand down and touched where it hurt. He brought his fingers back up to his face and saw the blood that now covered them as he began to go into shock. Another bullet hit him in the stomach as he collapsed to the ground, face first in the sand.

John screamed in pain as Niam withdrew his hand from his forehead. It was the worst possible agony he'd ever felt, as if someone had wrapped barbed wire around his head and was tightening it, allowing the barbs to pierce through his skin all the way to the base of his skull.

"Why must you be so resistant?" Niam asked.

Sheppard was panting hard; he could still feel where the bullets had entered his body. "Don't you know? I'm stubborn. It's just one thing you'll have to get used to."

"You'll see the error of your ways soon. Just you wait."

Niam turned to Rodney, who was backing himself up against the wall by the bed. "Oh no you don't! I've had enough mind probing in my time, thanks."

"Now now, it's better not to resist. It'll hurt much less."

John watched as Niam's hand was absorbed into Rodney's forehead, his screaming piercing the air.

It was too much. John rushed to his feet and punched Niam in the face, only to pull it back as if he'd hit a brick wall.

Niam retracted his hand from. Rodney's head and turned around. Using one hand, he threw John into the sink on the other side of the cell.

"Your efforts are hopeless, John. And for that you will be punished." Before he knew it, Niam was directly in front of him. "Now, let's begin again, shall we?"

*

_Day Seven _

Sheppard lay on the blazing hot sand, watching his men die around him as they ran up the sand dunes, explosions coming from every direction sending sand flying into the air

It wasn't going to stop; the same scenario was being played over and over in his head. He rocked back against the chopper, covering his ears and trying to block out the sounds of his men screaming as they were shot by an unseen foe.

Occasionally Niam would come over as Captain Holland, trying to convince him to give the location of Atlantis. Each time he denied, and then he would find himself replaying the same events.

The never-ending screaming, the memories he'd buried away a long time ago were right in front of him. Some part of John wanted to run up to them and warn them, but all previous attempts had ended in the same conclusion: death.

John could feel his mind slowly tear away from his body, leaving him in an emotional wreck.

This wasn't meant to happen, it should never have happened.

All these years he'd blamed himself for the deaths of his men. His career was ruined after he managed to get back to America. And then one day he was asked to transport Brigadier General Jack O'Neill. That day changed his life forever when he discovered he had the ATA gene.

Atlantis was something he'd never expected to be a part of his life, not after what had, and was, happening right now.

Another explosion hit the sand dune not far in front of him, the aftershock vibrating through the ground beneath him.

Holland appeared in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere. "The location of Atlantis," he demanded.

"Go away." Sheppard didn't even lift his head off the sand. He just closed his eyes and blocked everything out.

"How long are you going to be able to keep this up? Your people aren't coming, John. They'll never find you."

Sheppard could sense Holland moving around him slowly, pacing around him and examining his every movement. "You don't know my people, and they will come and you better not be around when they do."

"You just continue believing that, but the truth is they will never come."

And deep down some part of him knew it to be true.

*

_Day Eighteen_

"Here's your food and water."

One of the Replicators passed the food through the gaps in the bars and walked back out the door. As much as he found moldy bread and water dissatisfying to his taste, John gradually managed to crawl his way over to the food and began eating.

Every two days, a Replicator would come in the morning and give them one small bread roll each, as well as a small pint of water with two metal cups.

Rodney hardly spoke anymore. He just sat on the bed, eyes wide open, flinching at even the slightest amount of noise. John had tried talking to him, but it was if he was stuck in another world. He didn't even move when he saw the food. John had to come over and feed it to him like a child.

It broke him, seeing Rodney in this state. The smartest guy he knew was almost gone, lost in his own mind.

Each day, the Replicators would come and probe their minds. He had no idea what they were doing to Rodney, he just wished there was something he could do to help.

"Rodney... say something," John begged as he sat on the edge of the bed, trying to give him some of his food.

John watched as Rodney glanced at him, finally opening his mouth. His voice was quiet. "I want to go home." Rodney took a bite out of the bread he held in front of Rodney's face, then let John put the metal cup full of water up to his lips and drunk.

"We can't give up, we just can't. They'll be here, you'll see."

*

_Day Thirty-One_

The explosions stopped, as well as the screaming, and then it started again. Sheppard continually rammed his head into the side of the chopper to wake himself up, but it was no use. As long as Niam was in his head, there was nowhere he could go.

No matter how far he tried to run from the chopper, he'd always find himself running back towards it. Eventually, he'd given up running altogether.

Instead, he'd just wait there, watching the deaths in front of him as they fell down the dune, clutching at wounds or being blown up. So far blowing up had been very popular.

Once again, Holland appeared in front of him, asking the location of Atlantis. This time John didn't respond at all. Instead, he just fell to the ground, not speaking a word.

*

_Day Forty-One _

Sand blew into his eyes, causing them to tear up as John walked towards the dune. Bodies of his men lay at the bottom as the sand turned red, absorbing their blood .

Shifting one of his men aside, he reached for his gun. Placing it in front of his face as it taunted him.

'_I can't take this anymore_.' Placing the gun in his mouth, he armed the trigger and fired. He woke up back in the cell as Niam pulled out his hand, leaving John's head in excruciating pain before he fell unconscious.

*

_Day Fifty-Five_

The pain was almost enjoyable now as it flooded over him. Days seemed to feel longer as Niam came in and inserted himself into his mind, and by now John had begun to lose any hope of returning to Atlantis.

It seemed so far away now, as if it was all a dream. But was this a dream? Reality was beginning to slip away, quicker and quicker, as if his mind was slowly drifting away. It was as if he was floating in space, unable to tell which way was up. How was he supposed to know what was real and what wasn't anymore? John struggled to reassure himself that it was only Niam messing with his mind, but he was beginning to forget the difference between the two.

This was worse than death, but he had to stay strong for Rodney if they were ever going to get home.

But he knew that Atlantis would've given up a long time ago.

*

_Day Seventy_

"We're never going to get home, are we?" Rodney spoke up after being silent for weeks.

"No," John stated, not even caring anymore. He'd given up hope a long time ago.

The next few hours were quiet, until Niam came in and probed their minds again. Rodney's screaming drove him insane as he was forced to watch his friend slip away.

That night John didn't sleep on the floor like he had been. Shuffling onto the bed, he laid behind Rodney, putting his hands around his waist gently. The warmth of his body was comforting, and John began to feel safer than ever before.

John could feel all the cuts and abrasions on his skin as Rodney removed his shirt and put it on the floor beside them.

Bringing their bodies closer, John let his head fall on the back of Rodney's shoulder. The sound of his heart was loud, but soothing. He wasn't going to admit how he felt about Rodney. Over the past months, the friend crush had developed into something more than he'd expected and it scared him more than the Replicators.

For the first time since they'd been captured, he finally managed to get a peaceful night's sleep as he held Rodney tight in his arms, thinking about what would happen to them.

*

_Six Months Later_

John woke up, startled, to the sound of Rodney crying in the darkened cell. "What's wrong?" John let go of Rodney's waist and turned him around from where he was sitting on the bed. "For god's sakes, Rodney, what's wrong?"

It was like Rodney couldn't hear him as he continued to let tears fall down his saturated face.

Not knowing what to do, placed his hands on Rodney's cheeks and pressed his lips against Rodney's, who was definitely paying attention to him now as he froze under him. Before he could really grasp what he was doing, there was light pressure on his lips, so soft that he almost missed it. Rodney's lips.

His lips were soft and inviting to John, but as much as he wished to deepen the kiss into something more, he kept it gentle, just enough to get Rodney to pay attention.

As much as he didn't want to, John pulled away and slowly removed his hands from Rodney's face.

Rodney looked at him. His face was all flustered, but he had stopped crying, and that's all John cared about now. Hopefully Rodney would forgive him for what he'd just done.

"What's wrong?" John repeated softly, this time getting a response from him.

"I-I..." He was obviously in shock from the kiss, but then a sudden punch to the face told him otherwise. "What the hell was that for!?"

Not good. Well, at least that deducted the theory that Rodney was straight. "Believe me, I enjoyed it just as much as you. But you were crying, you wouldn't listen to me, and I didn't know what to do. So I'm sorry if I care!"

John watched as his words took effect on Rodney. His eyes looked to the ground, saddened, and his chest rose and fell.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to... it's just that I'm scared. As much as I'm not keen to admit it, I am, John. I've thought of everything to get us out of here and there's no escape."

John smiled at Rodney. "You'll figure out a way, you always do."

Rodney didn't return the smile, but instead turned his face away from Sheppard and mumbled under his breath, "Not this time, John... not this time."

_To be continued..._


End file.
